Where does this path lead to?
As I stood there in the freezing cold of the pre-spring winter morning admiring the sun rays glittering on the frost, my mind drifted to this long trunk lying there leading into an unknown realm. I bent down until I sat on the freezing leaves putting my cheek on the moss of the trunk and looking into that realm.. a realm that was obviously in my head, my imagination…It looked so inviting: I imagined myself shrinking into a tiny little figure so that the moss would be as big as shrubs and I could walk on this landscape and walk into that world, which is not that much accessible to us adult humans. And so this dreaming state of mind started, until now.
It is three minutes to midday and I have not done a thing but to dream… to linger… to dream again…to stretch my limbs… my body and dreaming again….
Now really where did that path lead to?
This morning the paths in the forest led me to the little openings in the trunks of the trees or just just the stems of cut-off trees. I see them as forgotten castles… little tiny castles where all forest spirits live. Little trolls, elves, or other kinds of spirits, which take care of acorns, leaves, little branches, mushrooms and all the little bugs and underground insects which make the forest alive… These little spirits hide from all humans, and they live in these tiny castles. If you don’t believe me, take a look at these castles: but look at them really, stay with them for a while and let the image caress your imagination… take your time, make them bigger and dive into them, and somewhere in the hidden corners of your imagination you will see these spirits:
Why now these forgotten castles?
Yes, you are right.. I was supposed to write about how I write the Manual, right?
And here I am speaking of forgotten castles and forest spirits. But it is actually not that disconnected from the topic as you may think. I will try to explain: These castles in the forest are like those hidden chambers in our own castle: the body. These chambers are long forgotten, no one (that is the self) has set their presence into them, and they have been overgrown, and little transformed, but tiny bits of spirit are living in them, waiting like sleeping princesses and princes to be awakened by a touch, by a flair of awareness, a tiny drop of consciousness.
Now the path of working mindfully with the body (and I can assure you it is very long and tedious path) leads our awareness and our mind to travel through our inner landscapes and reach these places, discover the tiny bits of spirit hidden in them, and invite these tiny bits to join the others in a dance.
I am each time triggered by a forgotten castle in a forest. They catch my attention, draw me near to them and make me contemplate their structure, texture, holes and the “invisible” inhabitants, which by the way are no longer invisible to my spirit as you may have understood.
The Relating
I am drawn to relate, to listen, to smell, to feel the right distance, and to open my senses to what is happening inside and outside of myself. I believe that this way we can experience the little connections and bridges and lines forming between us and the other.
So coming back to the path… it reminded me of a chapter about Touch and Taboos, which I had read again last week. I will try rewriting my own words again, in one of the lectures where we were exploring the big topic Touch and Taboos:
To relate or to be able to relate is one of the most complicated affairs in life. It is also an art, I believe. To have this ability to feel oneself and the other, to feel the common space and how to approach and to let the other approach you…. the depth of listening truly.
I have experienced that some people (thanks to the intimate work of Somatic Dialogue) have a lot of fear of relating to the other truly, or being accessible to others. I have also experienced that it doesn’t really help verbalising this fear, or understanding with our mind and reason why some have difficulties accessing or being accessed, relating or being related to.
In my explorations and observations I have come to see that these “limitations” can happen because of voids in us caused by absence of touch and affection, or excess of touch and affection. These voids caused by absence of touch or physical and affectionate distance are not possible to be cured or filled with words and understanding.
I have also explored that, working on the physical trust in the body, in our movements and sensations helps us to fill many voids in our bodies, and we start becoming aware of pleasure in the body. We can start feeling pleasure and start moving in an independent way of our ideas.
Now don’t worry, I will work on these ideas and will write them in a clearer way in the Manual.. Just take this as a work in progress 🙂
Knowing that the ground is there for me!
Once a client started the session by telling me that they can now feel that the ground is there for them, and that they can trust it: ”..all my connection to movement has changed, feeling the ground supporting me makes me relax into my own body!”
How I felt inspired by this remark. And remembering it now as my mind is drifting from one point to the other, I take this inspiration and hope that the Manual will be a little bit like a ground for the facilitators, so that they can relax into their practice of Somatic Dialogue.
Where do I find my ground?
Logical question which is emerging to my awareness… Last night I had a lovely short talk with my sister-in-law and she said that most of the time we are looking for solutions in life, but that it is most important to ask oneself questions. But also the correct or adequate questions, even though we may not have the answers. I find this so refreshing, yes and not lose the patience in asking oneself the right questions.
Here I am asking myself if the way I am working on the notes for Manual is really efficient or not?
I am going over old notes from about 3-4 years ago, of which I have made a selection about more than a year ago. And in the meantime I have been lecturing about this method and have produced many more thoughts. When I read my notes from the past I feel like I am reaching into those forgotten parts of my memory, and reading them I shiver sometimes, because I start criticizing myself: I was so affirmative, so sure of myself, such a straightforward way of saying things. I must have been a little crazy, not leaving much space to question my thoughts sometimes. Of course now I feel I am much more flexible, open to different ways.. having learned a lot from the first cycle of teaching I see that I am constantly learning from the 2nd cycle too.
So the question is, maybe I should stop working on my notes for some time, because I feel stuck, and should start writing the first draft of the book. And whenever I feel lost, I can go back to my notes (all those pages) and look for some inspiration.
What do you think?
Yes, I am asking you 🙂. Dialogue is the path and there is a reason for writing this blog: not only to make me work on my book, or make you witness what kind of process I am going through, but also to start a dialogue with my own thoughts, because you are reading me.
But because you are reading me it would be quite sweet if you could sometime also find interesting questions. Or answers, or tips?
You know that there is a comment section: but please do it only if you are inspired, and not because I am writing about it here.
No of course I will not be sad if no-one ever ever writes a comment to this writing torture 😭called blog.
Just a simple question!
Maybe if you are reading my blog, maybe you can start by asking little questions. Questions about the Manual, about the process.. about Somatic Dialogue? About our community? And this will bring a fresh breath of a conversation into the blog.
And now I will really start working. I will wait for your suggestions patiently, and in the meantime will start writing the first draft. And the idea is to start from the body in a standing position. A body on its two feet, with the legs well aligned under the hips, arms hanging down on both sides, a spine erected but fluent and the head crowning this statue.
Today I will start writing in the head section. That is the first chapter:
The Head
Thinking towards…
All points and ideas and thoughts about the philosophical aspect of this method.
Oh dear this sounds very ambitious and even pretentious.
So maybe just writing what comes when I think about Somatic Dialogue as a facilitator.
I just took a little breathing break and turned my head to the left and looked at the light shining through the trees. I opened the window and took a deep breath and listened to the afternoon songs of the birds, who are working hard preparing for spring. and I took a picture of course to show you. A moment of bliss after this long morning trying to find again the flow to write something that somehow makes sense.
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