My Foggy Mind

24.2.2025

Constant questioning….

It is 12:10 and right now I am able to start writing. This morning was early, too early…my daughter and husband had been away for skiing and I was able to sleep just 1 hour more the whole of last week,  and the change of rhythm did me good. So this morning getting up and becoming active early was a little harsh, but Gigi was very happy (my white shadow, our amazing dog, and of course Limpid Works therapist).

As soon as I got out of my futon the questioning started in my head: what will I write today? How will I start the blog? Shall I read the previous ones? A chain of questions started a movement of nervousness in me, which pushed me to one action: go to the forest and you will find your inspiration.

The starting point….

I always say in Somatic Dialogue sessions, that it is very fascinating and very inspiring to find the starting point of the movement. We always listen to the body in the way of finding where the movement starts on that particular day. Just imagine, you lie down on the ground and you wait to feel from where the movement starts in the body. If you listen well enough, or even long enough with staying attentive, you can feel that a lot of movement is there in the body even though we don’t move, or make a movement.  I always find this a fascinating mind work to really listen to that starting point and from there to allow the movement to unfold through the body.

My starting point today…

Well it simply started with not knowing, with not having a clue what to write, but knowing very well that I have started this blog and that I will keep my word. This is how I moved my body to the forest with Gigi. Entering this morning I forgot to thank the trees, so absent minded I was. 

Well I just started walking into the fog. 

The forest looked very different, although I know it so well, the fog transformed the whole experience. The unknown was in front of me, and immediately I connected this beautiful vision of the forest to my state of mind: I was foggy, my ideas were lost in my mind’s fog this morning. So I had no other choice than to accept this and walk, trust my steps, and walk and find the magic in discovering the scenery as it appeared new to my vision through fog.  The more I was walking into the fog, I was in it, and as I was in it I could see what was near me. 

My starting point was to simply walk and get closer to my fog as I was walking through the fog of the forest.  I calmed my mind by persuading myself that I will find something, that something will jump up during my walk.

So I walked, but nothing came, nothing jumped up, nothing appeared in my mind related to the blog and to my today’s writing. I only walked through this today-unknown-landscape, and lost myself in it, being absorbed by the foggy state of mind. I only have these images for you to see, as the fog has not revealed any thoughts to me, worth sharing,  apart from that I feel utterly uninspirational today. 

I had to walk, trusting that if I do not fix on this frozen flow in my brain, something might happen. yes frozen was the quality,  and actually all of the puddles on the side of the path were frozen, beautiful ice, with cracks, like a graphic drawing. 

What to do when frozen?

Contemplating this frozen puddle started my line of thoughts and I started talking to myself: yes dear your thoughts are frozen today, your flow is frozen and does not flow, your brain is foggy… but just remember what a beautiful day you had yesterday: for the first time you were co-facilitating with your ex-student and fresh colleague Pedro Prazeres a Dance Improvisation Open Class for 4 hours:) How heart and mind warming this experience was, how nourishing. How accompanied I felt and how happily I was accompanying. 

This memory started the melting process in me. 

Yes my thoughts were not aligning for the blog, but my flow of feeling started melting in my body that very moment. I admired the beauty of the frozen puddle and continued walking, enjoying  every step, till I met the sun through the fog which had started dissipating. 

Passage from fog to action…

As my steps were accelerating in the forest, my desire to go back to my room and dive into my notes grew. I knew that I had to go back to the very starting point of writing… So coming home I plunged into reading my notes, cutting, editing and making new notes as I turned the 35 pages this morning. That’s why about 3 hours later I started writing the blog. 

While I was passing into action, the action of reading my notes, I discovered that I am actually constantly analysing my own thoughts. Analysing, judging how I have spoken, how I have created such sentences, such subjects of thought…and I was able to see this morning how my mind works, and what are my intellectual capacities… well… there is still a lot of fog there 🙂

What did I find in today’s notes?

I found a very interesting passage that somehow is also connected to this morning’s happenings: A passage where I have been talking about the capacity of feeling ourselves. And I will cite myself from that time (22.9.2021): 

Feeling oneself… easier said than done. We may feel a lot of things, and yet not be able to trust what we feel or even recognize what we feel. It is a long and complex path to arrive at a clarity where one can distinguish what one feels truly or what one thinks one feels. And even if we come to that quality of clarity, after all these years of experience contemplating on what one feels, there is the doubt that may slide in.

Feeling and Thinking….

And I continue citing my notes from that very day, that lesson which I was giving during the first cycle of the Somatic Dialogue Facilitator Training back in 2021.

In general we are not encouraged to feel. We do not learn to express our feelings, rather we learn to hide them, disguise them or to change them. 

But feeling is a movement that flows through our body and nurtures our being constantly.

Our capacity of understanding what we feel, accepting it and somehow allowing our thinking to relate to it, can change our life experience.

How do you feel right now?

Usually, when we are asked about how we feel, and we really try to identify it deeply, it seems that we are diving into a blurry lake. We somehow know that we are feeling something but don’t really seem to figure it out clearly… This is something, I believe, we need to work on and become aware of, because feelings communicate on a very subtle level to our being and with a subtle language, which the mind cannot always grasp.

Working on the sensory and sensational aspect of the body through movement can help us bring clarity to what we feel and shed a light to our personal feeling systems or mechanisms. This is something very intimate and personal… No one can feel what I feel. We can have emotions that we can share and define them in a common language, but we cannot really feel what another person feels. We can even have emotions in common, but the way we will feel and experience these emotions will be different, our wording will be different, and so will our expression.

If the work of movement towards the recognition of our feelings is accompanied by some kind of adequate thinking, we may even then arrive to experience a harmonious interplay of feeling and thinking.

Take a little pause…

After writing this I have actually taken a little pause by lying down on the tatamis in my room and I was letting my hand do an exercise of feeling the floor. This inspired me to make a little video for you…But also taking this little time to just give space to my hand to caress, slide and articulate on the tatami floor gave me a little breath and also brought relief to my mind. I realise how much I push myself… you must be more aware of this than me by just reading me :) But this is also my challenge to write and thanks to you all, I feel accompanied. So knowing that you read me encourages me to be more responsible to write something that makes sense. And at the same time I feel that you could also write a comment and tell me what was not interesting:)  so that a dialogue can start.

Will you take a good pause today in your flow of actions?

Little thoughts about you…

I drifted of course from the book, but I will continue reading the notes, I promise… however my attention now drifts to you: So I invite you gently to take some time to recognize how you feel today. Maybe right now? And try to sense what you would like to do? Maybe take a little time, just like a break and lie down somewhere and wait to feel what your body would like to do. Then couple it with some thoughts, and just play to bring what you feel with what you think together.

Or simply find a time to listen to this wonderful piece by Florian Favre and let your feelings run through your body and mind.

My foggy mind has dissipated a little.. and I will continue working on my notes.. my eyes slide onto them and I see the theme of shyness…And about exchanges happening between bodies that the minds cannot always understand… oh these lines are really calling me to go deeper into them.

Have a lovely week…

A week rich in feeling

Rich in thought

And rich in love…

As Love must B