The pleasures of accompaniment

Blog 9.6.2025

It is 11:27 and the perfect time to start writing today’s blog. Today I had a lovely walk in the city with Gigi, faithfully accompanying me and I was lucky enough to be in a flow where my reflections came to life. Arriving at Limpid Works studio I installed myself at my favourite table and with a lovely pot of ceylon earl grey tea, I started jotting down my notes. 

The pleasures of accompaniment

One of my first thoughts during our morning walk with Gigi was that we are constantly accompanying each other. I think that I am taking her for a walk and she probably thinks the same: She is taking me for a walk, which is actually true, because most of the time I follow her. But no matter how we think the pleasure is always there because we both feel accompanied. Whenever Gigi walks ahead and I stay behind, because of a meeting with someone on the street or a phone call, after some distance she realizes the distance between us, stops and looks back and usually makes sure I catch up with her. 

Today I felt this accompaniment very strongly, so I started reflecting on it. It is a precious quality, the healthy accompaniment. Gigi is simply happy to be just next to me, near or far (depending on the biscuits in my pocket, or the presence of a tennis ball), she doesn’t reflect, she just is. And I, also happy to be accompanying Gigi, but very different from her, am able to produce lots of thoughts about this phenomenon:

Defining accompaniment this morning

The first qualities about accompaniment that came to my mind this morning were: healthy accompaniment, where no one obstructs the other but flows in parallel spaces, i.e. either of the beings do not have any expectation of the other (except biscuits, in Gigi’s case), and they do not stand in the way of the other by staying connected to the flow of movement, taking care of the distance in-between, and taking care of being in the field of vision of each other. It is like a silent and unspoken agreement that we will somehow be kindly connected, without anyone forcing a power over the other (except when Gigi wants to go into every bakery and cafe for more biscuits).

Another quality is the care and quiet attention the accompaniment brings to the process: being there, kindly, silently but attentively and being in harmony with being there for the other. This is something that makes the dialogue possible in Somatic Dialogue. The accompaniment, which is not binding, but present, and which is silent, that is non-judgemental but caring, without any pushing or interfering with the other’s process.

(Just like Gigi who is accompanying me right now by being always near me, making me feel connected to her, by showing me her faithfulness under the table)

The third quality which was in my morning thoughts was the most archaic quality of the accompaniment: a quality we all have (some more some less) since the moment of our birth, being accompanied, taken care of and nurtured by the presence of the other. Depending on the qualities of this experience in our childhood, we will somehow build a relationship towards this phenomenon of accompaniment. Usually in Somatic Dialogue sessions the whole dialogue is based on this phenomenon. Because the facilitator accompanies with kindness and full presence, the client/participant can allow themselves to reveal and explore. 

This phenomenon in its most simplicity is one of the most beautiful sensations two people can have together: Being there for the other and seeing the revelations and outcomes of this togetherness. This togetherness doesn’t happen straight away: in the case of Somatic Dialogue, the facilitator practices deeply the accompaniment in the sense that they have to search for the calmness and the alertness, for the peace and the curiosity inside of their beings in relation to the work that they are doing. It is a never ending process in which we always strive for bringing awareness to the moments when the different faces of judgement slip into our presence. It is also a path to keep the curiosity and the innocence of our way of observing, witnessing, accompanying the other so that the other has space to explore and can find trust in their actions. Luckily we always have masters around who teach us silently how to keep peace and curiosity vibrant within. Here is one of these Masters (Fifi)

Diverse qualities of judgement during the process

A second major reflection came to me this morning while I was meditating by the river. I found this amazing point of view and stayed there for a while:

As you can see from this point of view,  the photo starts with this amazing iron barge cleat, followed by the stones, then the water, then the trees, then the clouds and the sky and all is placed and overlooks the ground, the earth.

While meditating it reminded me of the process in which judgement plays such an important role. That is, we all have judgments! But as you may have heard from me many times, the facilitation of Somatic Dialogue needs to be non-judgemental. Of course philosophically this is not possible, nearly no-one can be non-judgemental in relation towards the other or the environment. During the process of being a facilitator we go through various qualities of judgement: at first it is like a barge, heavily rooted in rights and wrongs, well placed to hold the space, to hold the client, to show the right way, and to be there as strong as iron, pretending to be untouchable by the weight of the things attached to us. 

Then comes the stone wall that supports the riverbed, strong and hard, but letting the water be in touch with it constantly, and being the support of the people, ducks, dogs, water and earth. Then comes the water: filling the in-between space, letting the information float, enabling the flow, being more flexible, remembering the iron, the stone, the earth and everything that floats inside and on top… The judgement becomes more flexible and not so hard… After we see the trees on the island, the trees growing, being rootes and yet growing towards the sky and being alive, wise, letting birds nestle on its branches, admirative creatures, to which we humans look up to (at least the ones who are sensitive to them). 

And finally is the sky with the clouds and the sun, the sky that is over us, but that we cannot reach, but nevertheless know it is there because it controls the light, which makes all that we see different down here on earth. 

The journey through the judgement

I feel that if we work on our judgement we pass through very similar landscapes. First we realize it is hard as iron, then like a wall connecting but still separating, then it flows like water, then it grows in various directions like a tree, rooted in our experience, forming a solid stem and yet having branches reaching out into the world, and if we continue deeper the judgement transformers into clouds floating in the sky. The awareness connects all these qualities, so that we do not get stuck in only one of them.

It is a fascinating process, not always easy but always deeply insightful and transformative and most of all enriching. A very gratifying point is that when we can accompany the other in the dialogue with curiosity and presence we can taste these qualities that pass through us, through our body and through our mind, making us become more and more aware of how we perceive and how we act. During the process of accompanying the other we learn thanks to the other how our judgment system is working, and we can try each time to overlook and not get stuck in it. 

These were my thoughts today. 

Stay in the flow

And stay in love,

As Love must B.