Shall I write or not?

Blog 16.6.2025

It is 17:08 and of course as usual the best time to write. I have had the most crazy weekend in Hradec Kralove and Novy Bydžov, and after having been a “taxi driver” for the whole weekend, I had to sleep in today and then I found myself in the forest, following Gigi’s bushy tail’s rhythm. I happily accompanied (the theme of last week’s blog) my daughter and her two friends to the Rock for People Festival which was in Hradec Kralove. But we had accommodation in Novy Bydzov (a little town, where you don’t want to go), and I was driving them to the concerts and collecting them again in the middle of the night for three days. I must admit it was pretty adventurous. And the end result is: I am tired and teens are happy 🙂

My blog will be brief this week, because I am full of desire to write.

To continue writing the book. Somehow something in my head lifted and all of the sudden there is more space in my thoughts and writing is not as troublesome as it was in the past month. But of course during my walk I couldn’t help myself from capturing some forest wisdom, which you will see in the scattered photos throughout this blog today.

Sometimes I write and sometimes I dream

Even when I don't write the book, my mind is constantly collecting, sorting, placing, analyzing, reformulating and contemplating ideas, themes, lines, structural issues and images. Actually I am in the full process of the book and with every step I am coming closer to its taking shape and volume.

Lately I have been imagining also the printed version of this book, with many layers, different sorts of papers to fold and unfold, to touch and write upon… the book is showing itself to me shyly but like an enigmatic potential lover seducing me shyly from a far 🙂

I was even considering not writing today and writing the book instead but in the forest I had a heart to heart talk with my dear brother Burak, and of course some of the issues in our talk connected very much with Somatic Dialogue. I will spare you the talk, as it is between Burak and Berrak, but I would like to tell you about that theme.

Manipulation and its power on the body

Manipulation is something extremely powerful. 

It can be beneficial and also tremendously harmful, in both cases it leaves an impact on the person who is manipulated. For instance, I am willingly and happily being “manipulated” by my Rolfer Sabine Schumann, who is actually technically only sometimes manipulating my physical body, and the rest of the time is following my muscles and fascia structures with great care and listening through her touch. 

Let us look at the etymology of this word: 

Quoting wikipedia: 

“By 1730, the word manipulation was used to refer to a method of digging ore. The term derives from the French manipulation, which in turn comes from manipule, meaning "handful", a unit of measure used by pharmacists, later having a sense by 1828 of handling or managing people for one's own purposes. The word manipulate originated in 1827 as a back-formation from manipulation, initially meaning "to handle skillfully by hand." By 1864, its usage had expanded to include the figurative sense of "to manage or influence, especially for one's own advantage." The word is used in various different senses, but today it is most often used in psychological contexts.”

In Somatic Dialogue® we talk a lot about manipulation. It is something we need to be aware of in our practice, as it can have many disguised and subtle forms. I think that we all are manipulated in various degrees and ways by our parents. It is something that we cannot escape, it is part of us and it is inside our deepest bodily experiences, sometimes so hidden that it takes a lot of digging and work on the self in order to recognize the impacts of manipulation on our personality. 

Therefore in the practice as facilitators we are taking care to become more and more aware of hidden traces of manipulation in our memory, in order not to manipulate our client. It is not always easy, because manipulation can be very sneaky and even a smile, a praise or a loving encounter can be manipulative.

It is for sure that manipulation leaves traces in us. As we also work with the touch in Somatic Dialogue, we take great care to learn how not to have manipulative touch. In contrast to the conscious and beneficial use of manipulation, as in other bodywork and therapy, the manipulation is in an extremely minimal dose in Somatic Dialogue. 

Do not misunderstand me, “manipulation “ is also a therapeutic act, when performed skillfully and I love being manipulated well by someone who is conscious and caring, such as Rolfers, physiotherapists, osteopaths, masseurs or even fellow dancers.

I used to love playing with manipulation also in the physical way, not only with dancers (as it is a widely used tool for creation in contemporary dance) but also with my daughter when she was younger: we used to manipulate the body parts of the other like a marionette, and it was great fun. 

When agreed by both sides physical manipulation is a great exchange, one surrendering to the others care, and the other taking the responsibility of mastering with their hands the surrendered body 🙂

However, manipulating someone’s movements or state of being, because one recognizes the vulnerability or weakness of the other or the knowledge and superiority of oneself is an unacceptable thing. And yet this is how the world functions, and we somehow live with this hypocrisy, each one of us in our own conscience. 

During all my career as a dancer and dance teacher, I have come to understand, through the strong experiences (good and bad) that have marked me, that the body flourishes, evolves and opens into loving and intelligent states of being only when there is freedom, explicit and clear borders, loving accompaniment and most of all vigilance and presence of the other. 

As Somatic Dialogue Facilitators we all work hard to create such environments in which the client can in their own time become aware of their ‘manipulated past’, and connect it to its collaborators: power and control. Only when this awareness settles into the being, one can liberate oneself from manipulation. 

How do we do it? that unfortunately is a unique path which is more difficult to describe than to go through. As far as I am concerned it is a subtle work of deep listening to my inner reactions while I am witnessing my client. What does it touch in me, and what is my reaction to this? How does it connect with my own experience? And how can I recognize the client’s action in its truth and subjectivity? 

It is not always easy because there is always a part of us which wishes to correct, manipulate, to fix or show the “right way”. But you will read all about this in the “book”... for now I have given you a little taste of some of the themes… Now dear reader, I will leave you, and I am so very grateful to your presence, because thinking about you and what to write makes me really advance and work on my project. 

I wish you well, have a lovely week and think maybe… Can you recognize how you were manipulated? Or how you may be manipulating?  

And let us not forget also the positive connotation of the word: “handling skillfully by hand”... hmmm very very inspiring isn’t it? Now that makes me dream… 😉

Stay in love 🙂

B